I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
