i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
