What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
