Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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