I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
