Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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