I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
