dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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