My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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