I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
