i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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