He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
