2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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