i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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