While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He better not be in your backpack
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize