No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
