Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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