shes about as inviting as chlamydia
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
pray to the hookup gods
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
