It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
