i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
