I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
