She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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