I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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