Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
