The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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