weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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