Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
