his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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