You're completely useless in the revolution.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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