At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
