glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
