I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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