I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
