Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
