I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
