Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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