Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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