he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
