you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
