operation harelip BJ is a go
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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