im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize