I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
