Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I puked a lego.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
