Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
