I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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