He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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