And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
