problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
