Sponge bath it is.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
