I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
