I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
