So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
