do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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