Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
