i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
