Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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