You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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