hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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