But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
