Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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