the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
