we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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