I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
