What did we do last night that was yellow?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
