so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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