I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
